"Abandon all hope, ye who enter..." -Welcome sign above the City of Dis. "Kaos is my son."- Ravager

I'm constantly amazed how a good mood is like a target for any jerk, stranger and malevolent deity to chuck rotten tomatoes at.

Certainly I was in high spirits for the game. Then I encountered crying children, selfish teenagers and rude adults. It simply doesn't matter the age of the participant, all humans are at fault. I honestly was happy blowing up balloons, tying string and gathering them in bunches. But someone didn't tie one bunch very well and off it went into the sky. All those balloons were mine. Throughout the day, I kept hearing balloons popping as vicious and careless people destroyed something that was free.

I'm not a terribly sensitive person but I thought the cosmic irony profound; everywhere I go, people are popping my balloons. We fill them up with hope, expectation and they always burst apart. I began thinking that we need to find a better balloon, something that requires a mortar shell to burst. Ah... cynicism, but without elasticity our balloons would never fill- we'd be huffing and puffing but cynicism keeps balloons deflated. There's no chance of hope.

Well, aside from my foul mood over the thoughtless actions of my neighbors, I'm doing mediocre. While I got to see four of my friends today, I couldn't enjoy their company; always wise cracking jokes, little jabs... it's not funny anymore. It was all I could do to keep from blowing up at them and really making a mess of things.

And so, like a balloon my mind was filled with anger. I've deflated it by now through some creative writing at home, but still, I don't want my balloon to pop.

Sigh- maybe I just need another apathy pill. I certainly don't make a difference and I'm a fool to think I could.